Think Before you Judge

Sensory Processing Disorder
Think before you judge

My son Mateo has Sensory Processing Disorder and probable Apraxia.

- If my son gives you a hug but it's so tight that it hurts, he's not trying to hurt you, he doesn't know his strength.
- If my son is screaming and crying in a play area it's because he can't figure out how to get down. He's not a spoiled brat.
- If my son sticks his tongue out at you and then yells "I DID IT!" It's because he just figured out how to do it.
- If my son doesn't clap when he's supposed to it's not because he doesn't want to but because his brain isn't telling him how to do it.
- If my son is crying during song and dance time it is because he can't figure out how to do the same moves others are doing.
- If my son doesn't look at you when you are talking to him, it's because he processes things in a different way.
- If my son is upset in a restaurant it's maybe because it's too loud or the food isn't right.
- If my son uses his fingers to eat it's because the spoon won't work with his hand at the moment.
- If my son is banging his head on the wall or ground, or is pinching or hitting himself it's not a temper tantrum. He's trying to find his body.

Just because someone is different, looks like a monster, screams loud, or just doesn't seem normal, doesn't mean they don't have feelings.

Please think before you judge...

7/17/11

Wow, I have not posted in 6 1/2 months. That's crazy! Things are very interesting around here.

I have taken Mateo for a neurological exam and he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Then I took him for another IRC eval that he was turned down for because they (who are not doctors) say there is nothing wrong with him other than sensory problems. Then I took him to an Occupational Therapist and they feel he needs therapy. They diagnosed him with Neurologic Neglect Syndrome and poor muscle tone. We requested OT through the insurance and they denied him because it is not "medically needed." The insurance is telling me I need to go through IRC. UGH!!!!!!

I took Mateo back to his Dr. for another reason but she feels he needs therapy now and doesn't want to wait till he is 3 for the school district. She sent a letter to IRC and they actually called me that same afternoon. If I would have called myself, it would have taken at least a month for them to call me back. Now, I have to wait another week or so for them to call me back to make an actual appointment. If we get turned down again, I am going to appeal the decision. This is getting very frustrating.

I don't know if Mateo has "Autism" but he has been diagnosed as being on the spectrum and I have been told by 3 medical professionals that he has delays and needs therapies now. I'm so sick of getting the run around. I love my little boy and I just want to see him improve.

As for Khi, I have to take him to a geneticist because he has a small head, crooked pinkies, delayed tooth eruption, and delayed bone growth. I don't know yet when that appointment will take place.

As for me, I have had a lot of health problems with my stomach pain and back pain and joint pain and...yeah the list goes on. We are getting insurance for me hopefully. I'm hoping we will find this out soon. Then I can go to the dr. and find out what is going on.

So anyway, there is an update. A lot has been going on but God is still on the Throne and I just need to trust in him.

New Years 2011

So, I don't typically write my feelings out like this or think about them in this much detail. I don't believe in "resolutions." I believe I will fail if I make them but here are some thoughts that have been on my mind over the last year but mainly the last couple of days. Excuse the randomness and the jumping around in my mind. My mind is very disorganized but God knows what it all means. ;)

My Year 2010 in review and things to come

This year has been a…hmm…been a year of all sorts of things. It wasn’t “bad” or “great.” I have learned many things about my family and myself. I turned 30 years old. My husband turned 31. My boys turned 3 and 1. I discovered that being a stay at home mommy is full of many blessings but comes with great sacrifice. I have learned that I am very unorganized in my life. I have learned that I eat when I am bored. I have learned that my boys crave knowledge. I have learned that my boys crave me. I have learned that balancing life is impossible. I have learned that I can’t go anywhere without the Lord as my center. I have learned that He and only He holds me together. I have learned that I held a lot of bitter feelings and anger toward the Lord. I have learned that getting over anger does not just happen in a day. I have learned that I don’t have all the answers. I have learned that God does. I have learned that I am a very prideful person. I have learned that God wants to break that. I have learned that there are many things I want to change about my lifestyle and me in 2011.

In 2011 I want to have my daily walk with my Jesus be as close as it was in high school and Bible College. I want to make my husband a priority. I want to make my kids a priority. I want to have the TV off much, much more. I want to sing songs and read bible stories with my boys. I want to see my boys fall in love with Jesus. I want to organize my house to make it less chaotic for Mateo and myself. I want Malakhi to learn to write the alphabet. I want to stay home with my kids and take care of them and raise them in the way of the Lord. I want to make things so I can sell them. I want to earn money while still working at home. I want to learn when and what to eat. I want to lose weight. I want to not give up when I don’t see progress in any situation. I want to stay strong in the Lord because I am very weak. I want to know that He is in control. I want to believe with all my heart that God knows what I need, when I need it. I want to make sure I don’t force my will to be done and miss out on God’s blessings! I want to see how he works ALL things to work together for good. I want to miss my babies but know that in Jesus I can put my trust knowing that I will see them again and that God had His reasons for allowing them to be with Him. I want to make Jesus, Lord of my life! I want to live for Him everyday, every hour, every minute, and every second. I want to pray like I’ve never prayed before. I want to listen like I’ve never listened before. I want to have coffee with my Jesus. I want a one on one conversation between my first love and me. I want to kneel at the throne. I want to kiss the feet of Jesus. I want to wash His feet with my hair. I want to raise my hands in complete and total praise. I want to focus on how much God has done in this universe. I want to remember how much more He cares for me than the sparrow. I want to acknowledge that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I want to remember to not be afraid for He has ransomed me and has called me by name. I want all my loved ones and friends to know that I want them to be with me in heaven. I want them to know how. I want them to accept the truth. I want them to experience the Love of God that I have experienced. I want to see them come to the Lord. I want to enter into the throne room and stay there. I want to remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I want to remember that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I want to lead by example but also speak the word of God without the fear of offending someone. I want to learn that all my wants should be replaced with wills.

I will do these things this year. I will live for Jesus. I will Love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I will love my neighbor as myself. I will make sure my family and friends know what I believe. I will leave the rest up to God. After all, it’s not my will be done, but Thy will be done.

Lord, I give You my life, my heart, my soul, my mind. Everything I am I give to You. Please take over and control me and live through me. In Jesus Name. Amen.