My Year 2010 in review and things to come
This year has been a…hmm…been a year of all sorts of things. It wasn’t “bad” or “great.” I have learned many things about my family and myself. I turned 30 years old. My husband turned 31. My boys turned 3 and 1. I discovered that being a stay at home mommy is full of many blessings but comes with great sacrifice. I have learned that I am very unorganized in my life. I have learned that I eat when I am bored. I have learned that my boys crave knowledge. I have learned that my boys crave me. I have learned that balancing life is impossible. I have learned that I can’t go anywhere without the Lord as my center. I have learned that He and only He holds me together. I have learned that I held a lot of bitter feelings and anger toward the Lord. I have learned that getting over anger does not just happen in a day. I have learned that I don’t have all the answers. I have learned that God does. I have learned that I am a very prideful person. I have learned that God wants to break that. I have learned that there are many things I want to change about my lifestyle and me in 2011.
In 2011 I want to have my daily walk with my Jesus be as close as it was in high school and Bible College. I want to make my husband a priority. I want to make my kids a priority. I want to have the TV off much, much more. I want to sing songs and read bible stories with my boys. I want to see my boys fall in love with Jesus. I want to organize my house to make it less chaotic for Mateo and myself. I want Malakhi to learn to write the alphabet. I want to stay home with my kids and take care of them and raise them in the way of the Lord. I want to make things so I can sell them. I want to earn money while still working at home. I want to learn when and what to eat. I want to lose weight. I want to not give up when I don’t see progress in any situation. I want to stay strong in the Lord because I am very weak. I want to know that He is in control. I want to believe with all my heart that God knows what I need, when I need it. I want to make sure I don’t force my will to be done and miss out on God’s blessings! I want to see how he works ALL things to work together for good. I want to miss my babies but know that in Jesus I can put my trust knowing that I will see them again and that God had His reasons for allowing them to be with Him. I want to make Jesus, Lord of my life! I want to live for Him everyday, every hour, every minute, and every second. I want to pray like I’ve never prayed before. I want to listen like I’ve never listened before. I want to have coffee with my Jesus. I want a one on one conversation between my first love and me. I want to kneel at the throne. I want to kiss the feet of Jesus. I want to wash His feet with my hair. I want to raise my hands in complete and total praise. I want to focus on how much God has done in this universe. I want to remember how much more He cares for me than the sparrow. I want to acknowledge that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I want to remember to not be afraid for He has ransomed me and has called me by name. I want all my loved ones and friends to know that I want them to be with me in heaven. I want them to know how. I want them to accept the truth. I want them to experience the Love of God that I have experienced. I want to see them come to the Lord. I want to enter into the throne room and stay there. I want to remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I want to remember that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I want to lead by example but also speak the word of God without the fear of offending someone. I want to learn that all my wants should be replaced with wills.
I will do these things this year. I will live for Jesus. I will Love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I will love my neighbor as myself. I will make sure my family and friends know what I believe. I will leave the rest up to God. After all, it’s not my will be done, but Thy will be done.
Lord, I give You my life, my heart, my soul, my mind. Everything I am I give to You. Please take over and control me and live through me. In Jesus Name. Amen.
