lighter post

OK, onto a lighter post. I love listening to other people talk. One person is trying to say one thing while the other is thinking they mean something else. I'm sitting here listening knowing exactly what each person is talking about and they are going back and forth in this conversation trying to figure out what eachother are talking about. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Weight Loss Part 3 or 4

Ok. VERY frustrated. I'm not losing weight. I've been doing this for 4 weeks now. I just got really serious about it a week ago but have still not lost any weight. I'm doing 20 minutes of circuit training with jillian michaels on the 30 day shred and still nothing! I'm also swimming, walking and using biggest loser video game. UUUGGGGG!!!!!!!! I am still at 224! When will I see results???? I just don't understand. I've also lowered my calorie intake to 1600 calories. I'm trying hard. I'm going to try harder I guess. Lord, give me the strength to get my life back in order.

UUUUGGGGG!!!!!

Okay just a vent to say I'm getting very discouraged. I've only lost a few pounds since I started this diet and I'm so sad. I tried so hard. I'm not giving up I'm pushing harder. I just want to see results!

Exercise Update 7/21/10

So Monday I got the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels. Wow what a work out. So on Monday I went swimming for an hour which most was actually swimming and exercising and the rest was chasing the kids around the pool. Then came home and did 30 Day Shred and then my biggest loser challenge. Tuesday I went for a morning walk for 20 minutes with Lonnie, did 30 Day Shred and Biggest Loser. Today I have done 30 Day Shred and am going to do more abs and then do some of the Biggest Loser a little later. I can't report any more weight loss at this time I am sorry to say which is why I have changed tactics. I'm also counting calories thanks to my calorie counter app on my phone. I have however lost 5 pounds in the last 3 weeks so I hope I lose a whole lot more very soon. I just keep trying.

Weight Loss Part 2

Ok so I had my weigh in on Monday and I "gained" weight again. :( I'm so sad. I'm back up to 225. I know weight fluctuates but I've been trying so very hard. I almost didn't write in here but I knew I had to or I would completely give up. It's not my goal to give up. I need to keep pushing. I can lose weight and get healthier. I can.

Weight Loss Part I

I'm Determined! I WILL LOSE WEIGHT. I WILL GET HEALTHY. I WILL BE HAPPY.

Ok on Tuesday, June 29th I again started to exercise with The Biggest Loser video game for Wii. I love it. I had been using it and stopped after 1.5 weeks. I also gained about 20 pounds during the time which I stopped. I don't know what I did other than just not be active and I was semi anxious. I'm so excited to start again.

On the 29th I weighed in at 226 which was up about 20 pounds from right after I had Mateo. On Thursday July 1st I weighed again and actually gained 3lbs. I was so upset so I was up to 229. Monday July 5th I had another weigh in and I weighed 227. I went down. Today which was not a true weigh in just me being curious I weighed and am at 224! I'm so happy. It's not much but I'm down 2lbs from when I started. I want to lose more weight so bad. I'm trying to lose 40-50lbs by the end of summer. This is just my journal as I go along.

I try to work 30-60 minutes a day. I'm also counting calories which isn't fun but it is helping. I've noticed a difference in the way my legs look and a little around the middle. I even started doing sit-ups today using Malakhi to sit on my feet.

Random thoughts at a funeral

Last Sunday May 23, 2010 a co-worker of my dad and Lonnie passed away. His call him Tom. He was 42 years old and had a wife and 14 year old son. Today, May 28, 2010 was his funeral. I am admitting that it was the saddest most depressing funeral I have ever attended. The priest/clergy person/whatever he truly was gets up there and begins by saying we were there to remember the life of Tom. Okay...I can understand so far. He then says that Tom's wife asks him if he thinks he is in heaven...he then asks her "I don't know, what do you think?" She says..."well, I think so...I mean he was a good person"... A good person? Are you kidding me? Do you really think we get into heaven by our works? Romans 3:23: "For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."

So anyway she says she "thinks" he's in heaven, then the person directing the service says that she also told him that when the lights flickered in the room she said he was in the room with them. Oh my...first of all if he was in "heaven" the bible says to be absent with the body is to be present with the Lord...but then again that requires salvation. So he goes on and "prays" him into heaven. REALLY? I can pray an unsaved person into heaven? The answer would be no. Romans 6:23: "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." Lets see...the wages of sin is death. No where does it say he is in heaven, nowhere does it say he is with us here, and no where does it say we can "pray" him into heaven. Romans 10:9-10: "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." Okay good, cleared that one up. We need to confess with our mouth "Jesus You Are Lord, You are Lord of my life." We need to believe that God raised him from the dead...then, we will be saved.

Back to the service, Tom's wife had a massive breakdown in the middle to where the service had to be stopped for several minutes to let her grieve. The the lights flickered due to the A/C kicking on and causing an energy surge and she screamed..."See, I told you...he's here...he came to say goodbye." My heart broke for her. There is absolutely no peace in her life. No knowing where her husband is. No comfort of my savior.

I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was 8 years old. I was baptized confessing Him as my Lord. I'm not even close to being a perfect person but I have assurance in my salvation. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. My first thoughts at the funeral were that I needed to get mine and my family's health in a priority so we can be here to raise our kids, which is true, but the more I sat in there and listened to everything that was going on I praised God that IF something ever does happen to Lonnie or me, we have the assurance that the other is in the presence of our all loving Father.

John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life."

Please don't be in the position of Tom where you don't know, don't leave your family in a position of not knowing where you are.

I know this was long and much of it probably is rambled because it is late at night and I'm very tired but I had to get these feelings out. All I know is when I go home I want there to be a celebration knowing how happy I am. I understand that people will grieve as I grieve for those I've lost but I will be happy. I will be singing praises to Jesus.